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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29431422">the wolf's bride</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainuhsoar/pseuds/dainuhsoar'>dainuhsoar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Demons, Fantasy, M/M, Mention of blood, Monsters, celestial beings - Freeform, wolf - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,864</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29431422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainuhsoar/pseuds/dainuhsoar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hetian is the hunter who lives in the forest and has stolen guanshan's heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days), Jian Yi/Zhan Zhengxi (19 Days)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i posted a snippet of this last year on my tumblr (https://dddainuhsoar.tumblr.com) and i finally finished it.</p><p>the fic will be posted in separate chapters but i'm posting them all at once.</p><p>also, the story changes perspective and also tenses? because it's not told in chronological order, so time skips around here and there. apologies in advance if it gets confusing...</p><p>other than that, hope you enjoy it :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>the leaves scatter as guanshan stomps through them. hearing a horrible imitation of a wolf’s howl, he turns his head in its direction. the “wolf” must have found jianyi. guanshan smirks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>when the event organiser was explaining the rules of the game before it started, jianyi had leaned closer to guanshan, giggled and said under his breath, “i’ll gladly roll over and offer myself to the wolf.” he had known fully well that zhan zhengxi, who is a textile merchant one year their senior, would be playing the role of the wolf. zhan zhengxi, a few feet away from them, casted a stern glare at jianyi, whose grin only grew wider.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>there have always been rumours about the relationship between jianyi and zhan zhengxi. while jianyi has insisted that they are just friends, guanshan knows that jianyi looks at people different from how he looks at zhan zhengxi. the playful exchanges jianyi has with guanshan are friendly. the lingering stares, relentless teasing and gentle touches jianyi gives zhengxi are something else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>no one dares say anything to or about jianyi, however. his family is </span>
  <em>
    <span>loaded</span>
  </em>
  <span>. they have funds in all the businesses in town. jianyi is the heir to that fortune, and he’s the apple of his mother’s shrewd eye. if he’s upset, his mother is upset, and they are wealthy enough to withdraw funds from even their most valuable investments. their family can survive without a few of their investments, but no business is profitable enough to survive without them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the gossip about the young master and the humble merchant is spread behind their backs, but jianyi knows about the rumours anyway. he tries his best to pay them no mind, but guanshan knows even someone as headstrong as jianyi won’t be able to ignore all the hurtful words and barely-disguised looks of disgust. his defense mechanism is to taunt the gossip-mongers, often at the expense of guanshan. he likes to walk around with his arm around guanshan’s shoulders and makes a show of whispering into guanshan’s ear. he’s usually just telling jokes or offering him bribes like, “if you can blush right now, i’ll give you two silver coins.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan will try but it never comes out. when jianyi chides him for being a poor actor, guanshan will hiss defensively, “blushing is for </span>
  <em>
    <span>girls</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>that’ll earn him a sharp jab to the ribs from jianyi. “and that’s why girls earn all the money and you’re a penniless bum,” jianyi says. he’s always reminding guanshan that he needs to change his poor attitude towards women.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan doesn’t know why the stupidest things slip out of his mouth whenever jianyi is around. guanshan is decent in a physical fight but his tongue trips up in verbal arguments. wit is not one of his stronger qualities, and he will never admit it but jianyi’s eloquence is one of the points guanshan admires him for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>maybe eloquence captivates guanshan because he has a clumsy tongue and loose lips. he spent his childhood mostly alone, entertaining himself by foraging for herbs and plants he could bring home to his mother to use for dinner. his mother works from sunrise to sundown at an inn in town. he talked to the plants, animals and himself mostly and is thus unused to talking to things that can respond with words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>to guanshan, a conversation about eloquence cannot go without the mention of the hunter who lives in the forest. (the very forest they’re playing hide-and-seek in right now.) when they first met, guanshan was screaming and running until he ran straight into the hunter. guanshan took one look at the dagger strapped to his belt and stuttered out “behind me! help!” as he gestured manically in said direction. the hunter looked confused, glanced behind guanshan and understood at once. he grabbed guanshan by the wrist, dragged him closer to himself and then used his body as a shield between guanshan and whatever monster was chasing him. with one swift swipe of his dagger, wind and time stilled, the monster’s head, heavy with two horns that curved backwards, slipped right off its neck in a clean cut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“it’s done now,” the hunter said. “are you all right?” his dagger sheathed, his broad shoulders an opaque wall between guanshan’s eyes and the lifeless, bloody body, the hunter took guanshan’s face in his hands and caressed his cheeks with his thumbs gently. he stared so deeply into guanshan’s eyes, checking for any sign of trauma, that guanshan was suddenly reminded of the lingering gazes jianyi and zhengxi have borne into each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hetian is irritating, far more irritating than jianyi. he thinks he is clever. he thinks being able to rile guanshan up is a special talent, and that’s probably why he does it so much. guanshan is envious of hetian’s height, his athleticism, his knowledge of the berries and seeds in the forest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>hetian brought guanshan to his home after a month of getting to know each other, and guanshan is </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely </span>
  </em>
  <span>envious of the large gate, the large courtyard, the large kitchen, and the large rooms. his jaw dropped when he saw the extravagance of the wooden gate. he hadn’t even realised his mouth had fallen open until he gasped after stepping through the front gate and seeing the expanse of the courtyard. he almost choked on the rush of cool air that went down his windpipe. hetian laughed, that asshole, and asked, “what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>being his usual clumsy self, guanshan sputtered out, “there should be stone lions at the main gate, everyone knows that. your stone wolves just look like they’re inviting evil into your home.” hetian gave him an uncharacteristically disappointed grimace, so he hastily added, “but the rest is nice, i guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the hunter lives alone in such a lavish house. guanshan asked where his family was, and he replied, “they moved away.” it was a mysterious non-answer, but guanshan did not want to push it. he could sense a sad note in hetian’s voice, though, so he put a hand over hetian’s own and squeezed it gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan came to immediately regret showing him tenderness because a wicked grin spread across hetian’s face. he flipped their hands and laced their fingers together. he tugged guanshan roughly to his chest as his other arm looped tightly around guanshan’s waist. guanshan doesn’t remember how or why they had been lying on hetian’s sheets, facing each other, all he remembers from that moment is the burning shame he felt after hetian had whispered, “i am happy i came back. i would never have you in my arms otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>eloquence is a dangerous, underestimated weapon. it has done what two silver coins couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>made guanshan’s heart beat so fast and powerful that he thought it would drum a hole right through his chest and present itself straight into hetian’s palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hetian’s silver tongue terrified guanshan, sent him flailing and sprinting away. he doesn’t know which he hates more, that he ran from hetian like a coward or that he almost felt brave enough to close the gap between their lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>either way, it has been a week since they last spoke. a week of guanshan sighing, groaning and moping around the house. every time he told himself, “i need to speak to him,” he would overthink and scorn himself. embarrassment would swallow him. “tomorrow, i’ll go tomorrow,” he repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“tomorrow”, the cycle repeated until a week passed and it is the day of the annual hide-and-seek game that involves the entire village. it is a strange tradition, but it is done every year to appease the superstitious folks. “if we don’t offer the wolf a night of harmless chase, he’ll come and take our young women from their beds until he finds the right bride,” they say in conspiratorial tones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the superstitious folks insist there is a wolf, yet don’t believe the wolf will come out for the chase, because they get someone from the village to </span>
  <em>
    <span>play</span>
  </em>
  <span> the wolf. that just means dressing up in all-black and finding the players who have hidden themselves in the forest. the wolf has no advantage and the game normally ends with them exiting the forest empty-handed while the rest of the players whoop in victory. it is a slow game with low stakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan hadn’t planned on taking part, but he was skirting around the path to the forest. jianyi spotted him and dragged him to the village square. the festivities and flowery enthusiasm flowing from jianyi distracted guanshan from his nerves, so he gave in, deciding, “i’ll be going to visit hetian, anyway. i may as well join.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>rules were read, instructions were given and children were caught by their parents before they could run off and join the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“we should stick together,” jianyi said as he and guanshan trailed behind the party heading into the forest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“and be the first players to get caught?” guanshan said. “are you serious?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jianyi gave his best imitation of a puppy, complete with wide, innocent eyes. “but what if i get lost?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan was unforgiving. “then get lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>they said their goodbyes (jianyi whining, guanshan shrugging him off) and parted ways once they were a few feet into the forest. another fifteen minutes and guanshan had broken off from the rest of the party. another twenty minutes and he heard jianyi’s wolf-howl. players don’t have to do that if they get caught, it was just jianyi being his excessive self.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan is familiar with this part of the forest, where it’s still and silent. it’s off-path, so not many know how to navigate it, but guanshan has traversed it many times. it’s the way to hetian’s house after all. he even knows the exact spot where he can hide when or if a monster is after him. it’s a narrow space between two trees, each hung a yellow talisman with a protection charm scrawled in red paint on it. hetian made the talismans specially for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hide here and i’ll know where to find you,” hetian said as he slathered a sticky paste over the talisman and tree trunk. “my brother taught me how to make these talismans to ward off evil spirits. we also have it on the wolves outside my home. it keeps even the most evil away.” he had a proud smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i didn’t know there are different levels of evil,” guanshan said, frowning in worry. “isn’t evil just evil?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“sure,” hetian shrugged, “but the lower-level spirits answer to a higher level, you know. the low-level spirits mess with your head, but the high-level spirits can physically harm you. that goat one that chased you was a high-level spirit.” he paused to spread the sticky paste over the next talisman. then, he turned to guanshan with a grin on his face. “but don’t worry, i’ll protect you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a rustling sound makes guanshan jump out of his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he expected to find hetian, for it can only be hetian, who lives just a short ten-minute walk away. besides himself, only hetian is familiar with this route. but it is not hetian, not even a hide-and-seek player who could have gotten lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it was a gigantic cobra-like beast, rearing over guanshan with its mouth wide open and fangs out. guanshan screams as the beast lunges down at him. he dodges, but barely. a dagger-like fang grazes guanshan’s arm, slicing deep enough to leave a sharp cut down the forearm that immediately starts to leak blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>heart thumping in his chest and holding his arm to his chest, guanshan slides behind the protective tree. it’s a large tree with a thick trunk that hides guanshan nicely behind it. he sticks close to the bark, tipping his head back to glance at the talisman pasted just above his head. it’s still there and he sighs in relief. it’s practically the tree’s second skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan bites his lip and peeks around the tree. the cobra is no longer alone. another beast arrived in the same second guanshan dived behind the tree. the cobra’s new rival is a wolfish beast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it’s huge, larger than a regular wolf and nearly the size of a brown bear. it towers over the cobra. its fur is shadow-black, it’d have blended into the shadows cast by the trees if not for the silver moonlight that glints off its back (when did the sun go down? guanshan wondered). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>the two demons tussle on the floor, snarling and hissing at each other. the cobra wraps itself around the wolf’s neck and attempts to strangle it. but the wolf catches on quickly, swiping the tail-end of the cobra with its heavy paw. the cobra unfurls, then jabs forward for a bite. but it stops short - the wolf’s jaws have clamped just below the cobra’s head. it let out a final hiss, like a strangled cry, before the wolf swings it out of the clearing, back into the trees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>if the cobra hadn’t died from that attack, it would be too weak to come back for another go at the wolf, who isn’t done with it. the wolf dives into the trees, probably going back to finish the job.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>from his hiding spot, guanshan hears sickening cracks and the tearing of flesh. he shivers, clapping his hands over his ears to block out the noise. guanshan ignores the stinging red-hot pain in his arm and the blood soaking into his clothes. he doesn’t dare move until the noises have stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>still trembling, guanshan peeks around the tree. he needs to check if the coast is clear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>with its head bowed low, the wolf’s long snout noses at the fallen leaves. it lets out little puffs and grunts as it creeps just a few feet away from guanshan and his tree. guanshan needs to hide, duck back behind his tree, but he can’t tear his eyes from the monster. things disappear when you look away. and if it disappears, then where will it have gone?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the wolf doesn’t see him for now. it’s too focused on the spot it’s sniffing at. it’s searching for something. </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe its next meal,</span>
  </em>
  <span> guanshan’s brain offers unhelpfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the wolf growls, then it circles once around the patch of land it had been nosing and lies down next to it. after a yawn, it rests its head on its front paws and tucks its tail in. finally, its long ears slump down close to its head. guanshan releases the breath he’s been holding and nearly swears when the ears perk back up instantly. the wolf doesn’t raise its head, but it opens its eyes. guanshan is shocked to see the wolf’s eyeballs are just orbs of black, no distinction between pupil and iris. after a beat, its eyes close and its ears relax once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>keeping his breaths shallow, guanshan watches.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>hide here and i’ll know where to find you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>but he can’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>. it won’t be long before the game ends and jianyi will notice guanshan is missing (at least guanshan hopes jianyi cares enough about him to notice) and then a search party will come for him. but they can’t, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>mustn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>come. if they go crashing off-path, the wolf will sense them and hunt them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan must go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he does not know for certain that the wolf is asleep. even if it is asleep, it’ll definitely awaken once guanshan moves from his protected spot. how long will it take for guanshan to run to hetian’s house? five minutes? eight? will his stamina even allow him to run at breakneck speed for that long? will he even be able to outrun the wolf? the monster’s legs are long, its body large, it is likely able to cover twice the distance guanshan can in one second, no matter how fast guanshan can go, even when fuelled by adrenaline and fear.</span>
</p><p><em><span>don’t be a fucking coward</span></em><span>, guanshan thinks, glaring at his fickleness. </span><em><span>you</span></em> <em><span>are supposed to protect him.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>guanshan takes two sprints before he can’t fight the urge to look back. the wolf is on its feet, teeth bared. just as guanshan turns back to look to the front, he hears the wolf take off after him. he can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>it behind him. his nape tingles like in preparation for the sinking of teeth. he doesn’t have to think about which direction to go, his legs are moving on their own. the growling is </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>close, practically right in his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and then guanshan is tripping over the doorstep, through the wooden gates. he scrambles backwards until his feet are past the gate as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan’s lungs are on fire, his legs are sore and trembling, his arm has dripped a trail of blood behind him and it’s now leaking like a faucet all over the concrete ground of hetian’s courtyard. he has made it but he’s too shaken to feel victorious.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>i’ve escaped you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you can’t hurt us now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan’s legs wobble as he tries to stand. he’s suddenly aware that it’s quiet. the only sounds he hears are his panting and the scuffle of his shoe against the floor. he spins around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the beast isn’t there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan closes the gate, steadfastly ignoring the swirling feeling of doom in his stomach. he stumbles through the second gate and into the inner courtyard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“hetian!” he calls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>only a howl from outside replies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>no. </em>guanshan lunges at the room doors. a horrible screeching sound pierces the night as the doors swing on their hinges and crash against walls. </span>
  <em>
    <span>no. </span>
  </em>
  <span>guanshan throws the blankets and robes to the floor, as if hetian might be hiding beneath them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. guanshan grabs the cleaver from the kitchen and charges towards the main gate. he throws it open, angry tears running down his face, body no longer shaking as he thrusts the blade outwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan is threatening nothing but the whisper of a wind.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! hope this piqued your interest.</p><p>comments and kudos are appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this chapter explores jianyi and guanshan's friendship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>jianyi has been friends with guanshan since they were twelve. he’d been picking flowers at the edge of the forest because he thought it’d be cute to give tiny stalks of flowers to zhan zhengxi, and a wolf came barrelling towards him. it wasn’t growling or snarling, but its jaws were open, tongue lolling out, and it didn’t seem to be stopping any time soon. jianyi wasn’t going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait </span>
  </em>
  <span>for the animal to reach and attack him. he clutched the flowers in his hands and, screaming his head off, took to his heels. he hadn’t noticed the boy lying in the grass until a head of red hair popped up out of nowhere. jianyi yelped as he tripped and collapsed over the boy, who let out a horrified squawk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“a wolf! a wolf!” jianyi screamed, putting his hands all over the redheaded boy but not knowing what he wanted to do exactly. he just needed to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>with his hands so he wouldn’t be frozen in fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at first, the boy was alarmed. then he looked over jianyi’s shoulder and then he just… laughed. he pushed jianyi off him and got onto his knees. he threw his arms wide open, as if inviting the animal for a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“no! what are you doing?” jianyi screeched, scrabbling to drag the boy away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“relax,” he said as the wolf threw itself into his arms. “it’s just a dog.” it was making happy yipping sounds as it twisted and wriggled in his embrace. he buried his nose in the dog’s fur and peppered kisses on its scruff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>whatever it was, it was harmless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jianyi slumped into a relieved slouch as he watched the two of them. it was hard to believe that animal was a dog. it was friendly and enthusiastic about playing fetch, and it was practically purring when the boy scratched its belly, but it was too tall, its snout was too long and teeth were too sharp. there was no way that was a dog.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“there is no way that’s a dog,” jianyi announced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>his new friend glared at him. “it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>a dog. are you blind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> blind,” he retorted smartly. “or maybe it’s blind. just look at the eyes!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the boy gasped and covered the animal’s ears defensively. he squished the wolf’s pointy ears so they lay flat against its head. and then he shook the head from left to right as he said in a hushed tone, “he doesn’t mean that. you have such pretty eyes.” he pecked kisses onto the animal’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“whatever.” jianyi decided. as long as it wasn’t going to bite the boy’s pretty head of red hair off. “ah! your name is mo guanshan!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan gave him an unimpressed look. “and you’re jianyi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yes,” jianyi nodded, “hey, can you help me pick some flowers?” he opened his palm to reveal the crushed petals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it so happened that picking flowers was guanshan’s expertise. he knew which would make their hands itchy, which withered quickly when plucked and which were the prettiest. he made up meanings for the different flowers based on their colours. he handed jianyi a bunch of yellow flowers and said they meant happiness, so if he gave that to zhan zhengxi, he could be saying, “thanks to you, i’m happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan said, “i prefer to use things and actions to express myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>when the wolf-dog realised that guanshan was no longer paying him much attention, it wandered off, back into the forest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“he’ll come back tomorrow.” guanshan shrugged when he saw jianyi watching the animal stalk away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it did. and it didn’t seem very pleased that jianyi had also returned to play with guanshan. he didn’t know any boys his age, and guanshan had a fun imagination on top of being street-smart. he didn’t talk much and he couldn’t read and write, but he was observant and caught on quick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he knew which stalls in the marketplace were easy targets and his little hands were swift when he swiped food. his hand was warm and his grip was tight when he pulled jianyi behind him, darting to hide in an alley to gobble down their spoils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>guanshan accompanied jianyi to the textile shop to stare at zhan zhengxi. he was the one who handed a humble bouquet of white and yellow flowers to the textile merchant’s son. he pointed at jianyi, who was hiding behind a barrel, and jianyi felt seen for the first time when zhengxi turned to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>then they became teenagers and jianyi found out guanshan was good at keeping secrets too. he said nothing when he saw zhengxi lean too close to whisper something in jianyi’s ear. he said nothing when jianyi slipped his hand into zhengxi’s and laced their fingers together. he muttered an embarrassed “sorry” when he stumbled into jianyi and zhengxi kissing in the tall grass on the fringe of the forest, and then he said “it’s okay, i was just looking for my dog” when zhengxi apologised to him later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>then the dog disappeared and guanshan became quieter, if that was even possible. he became a tiny bit more bitter too. his words always had a bit of a sharp edge, but now it was accompanied by a tinge of agony. jianyi realised that even though guanshan was his first friend, he wasn’t guanshan’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jianyi blamed that wretched wolf-dog. guanshan didn’t show it, but he had an over-dependence on that animal and jianyi had always found it strange. it was surely a one-sided friendship. it was just an undomesticated beast that could leave any time it wanted without regret or memories. how in the world did guanshan manage to develop a bond deep enough to break his heart when the damned dog left?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>as jianyi spent more time with zhengxi, guanshan spent more time in the forest. jianyi heard from guanshan’s mother that he would waste the whole day in there and come out only when the sun was halfway down the horizon. jianyi kept trying to get guanshan to spend time with him and zhengxi, and he would take him up on the offer sometimes. more often, he would grimace and mutter something about collecting herbs. jianyi thought maybe he was still looking for the wolf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it took guanshan years to finally faintly resemble something of his former self, and then suddenly he was healing too fast. a month ago, guanshan met someone new.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“he lives in the forest,” he said, “a hunter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jianyi had never heard of a hunter who lived in the forest. what the fuck did he even hunt?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“monsters,” guanshan said simply, like it was the most normal thing in the world, “demons. evil spirits. he protects our village.” he said it with shiny eyes, a far-off gaze on his face and cheeks tinged with red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>jianyi was reminded of how guanshan had insisted his beloved wolf was a dog. that hadn’t gone down well, and jianyi wondered if he should tell guanshan his warning signals had gone off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“he knows so much about the forest,” guanshan said, his voice light with awe. “he said he’ll teach me everything he knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it was impossible. there was no way jianyi could put a damper on guanshan’s finally-good spirits.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>comments and kudos are appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>continuation of the present.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>at the break of dawn, hours and hours after everyone else has emerged from the forest, mo guanshan staggers from the line of trees. guanshan’s mother gave a cry of relief as she bounds towards him. when jianyi reaches the scene, a party of people has already begun to form around them. he sprints across the field towards them and shoves people aside to get to guanshan.</p><p>guanshan is being hugged to an inch of his life by his mother, but jianyi lunges, enveloping the both of them in his arms.</p><p>“i’m fine!” guanshan insists. “please, can you <em> listen </em>to me?”</p><p>angrily swiping away at the tears prickling his eyes, jianyi finally lets go. when guanshan’s mother takes a reluctant step back, jianyi shoves at guanshan’s shoulders.</p><p>“where the hell were you?” he hisses. “and what the hell happened to your arm?”</p><p>there’s a deep gash on guanshan’s forearm. it wasn’t deep enough to reveal bone, but it looks terribly ugly. the skin is swollen and pulsing, as if it’s rotting. blood has painted his entire forearm in patchy red, and even his shirt and pants haven’t been spared. guanshan’s mother gasps and she promptly rips a piece of cloth from her dress to wrap his arm. of course, the cloth becomes soaked in just a few seconds. guanshan doesn’t even notice, too familiar with the pain already.</p><p>“i’ve been-” guanshan is stumbling over his words again. “just- i- inside- i-” he gestures with his uninjured arm towards the line of trees. “hetian…”</p><p>“who the hell is hetian?” jianyi barks.</p><p>“the hunter!” guanshan exclaims, the words jumping out of his throat on their own. “the one who lives in the forest!”</p><p>silence falls on the ring of people around them. everyone is staring in blatant disbelief. <em> they’re going to think he’s insane </em>, jianyi thinks, his blood going cold.</p><p>“the- the one you told me about?” he asks.</p><p>guanshan’s eyes widen. it breaks jianyi’s heart a little that guanshan is surprised jianyi seems to believe him. guanshan nods aggressively. jianyi glances at guanshan’s mother. she has worry written all over her face, her eyes are brimmed with tears.</p><p>“i’ve been trying to find him in the forest all night,” guanshan says in a rush. “he’s not in his house. and the wolf is out there. hetian is in danger, we have to help him.”</p><p>murmurs wash over the crowd like waves. jianyi whips his head around to scan the people for zhan zhengxi, who is already watching him. instinctively, zhengxi steps towards them.</p><p>“no, not him,” guanshan persists. “i saw a… a <em> demon </em>. a monster.”</p><p>the murmurs grow louder.</p><p>guanshan’s bottom lip shakes. his resolve is crumbling. he casts an eye over the doubtful crowd in front of him. and then he looks at his mother, who takes his hand in hers, but that’s not what he’s searching for. jianyi is his last resort. he can see it in the begging look guanshan gives him. if jianyi doesn’t believe him, he’ll just turn around and run back into the forest, so fast that only leaves and dust can follow in his wake. they’ll lose him again. <em> jianyi </em>will lose him again.</p><p>“show me where he lives,” jianyi says. “he might have returned while you were out looking for him.”</p><p>relief colours guanshan’s face. he smiles gratefully at his friend, and jianyi feels a stab of guilt.</p><p>zhan zhengxi is the only one who doesn’t want jianyi to go with guanshan. he immediately snatches jianyi’s wrist when jianyi takes a step towards the forest, guanshan close before him.</p><p>“you’re not going,” zhengxi says. his voice is even but the turmoil in his eyes gives him away.</p><p>guanshan’s mother is trying to get guanshan to stay as well. she has grabbed both his hands and is refusing to let go. guanshan draws her to him. he kisses her forehead and holds her tight as he whispers something to her.</p><p>“my mother will be furious,” jianyi says, voice breaking at a chuckle. “you have to assure her i’m fine. i’m in good hands.”</p><p>“i can’t,” zhengxi mutters darkly. “because i’m going with you.”</p><p>“no,” jianyi objects quickly. “he doesn’t trust anyone but me. i’m the only one who can go with him.” zhengxi’s fingers tighten around jianyi’s wrist. “he’ll never let anything hurt me, you know that.”</p><p>guanshan is waiting for jianyi.</p><p>jianyi pulls his arm out of zhengxi’s grasp, brushing a kiss on his cheek. he hears the crowd murmur again. <em> damn them </em>, he thinks. he turns to guanshan’s mother and gives her a reassuring nod. her smile is tired, weak.</p><p>“come back soon,” she says.</p><p>jianyi catches up to guanshan and they go deeper into the forest together.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>they search till night falls. they don’t find the house.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>they sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, in a space between two trees guanshan insists is where they should wait for hetian.</p><p>an unpleasant, stomach-churning odour leaks from guanshan’s wound.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>jianyi is shaken awake. guanshan’s eyes are wide with terror.</p><p>“i saw the wolf again,” he whispers. “it took one sniff, turned and left.”</p><p>they don’t go back to sleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>in the morning, guanshan’s resolve has renewed. his arm has stopped bleeding, thankfully. but it still needs to be treated. jianyi opens his mouth to say this, but with his eyebrows drawn downwards in a frown, guanshan says, “let’s go look for his house again.”</p><p>guanshan doesn’t rest, ignores jianyi’s complaints.</p><p>they don’t find the house.</p><p>“tomorrow, we’ll find it.”</p><p>but even guanshan knows that “tomorrow” is just a cycle.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>guanshan falls into a fever and jianyi begs and begs until he finally agrees to leave the forest, the wolf and his hunter behind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>comments and kudos are appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this chapter explores hetian's side of the story.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hetian's father is an asshole in this one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>the wooden gate creaked when it opened, which made hetian flinch. he paused, gritting his teeth as he listened for any stirring from within the house. none. his family was still sound asleep. grin splitting his face, he swiftly closed the gate behind him and took to his heels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>as the wind sliced through his hair and whipped against his cheeks, hetian laughed. he threw his head back and howled. the childish, high-pitched yowl was picked up by the wind, the echo behind him trying to keep up with his pace. as the howl lengthened, it began to pitch lower and rounder. and then hetian was on all fours, lithe body flowing with the gust of wind, paws hitting the ground with soft pats. tongue hanging out of his mouth, he screeched to a halt at the line of trees. with his ears perked and nose in the air, he waited for the scent that would draw him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>he’s here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian gave a yip, bounced high into the air and landed into the tall grass in front of him. he loped through the field, carving a random, wavy line as his path.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the young boy hetian pounced onto gave a yelp of surprise. but the huge grin on his boyish face told hetian he wasn’t angry. almost immediately, his hands found hetian’s jaw. he tugged at the fur, slipped his hands down hetian’s neck and looped his arms around him, hugging him tight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i missed you,” the boy said between laughter. “my mother made me clean the house yesterday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian nuzzled his neck in response. the boy was in reach, so he took hetian’s jaw in his hands again and pressed their foreheads together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i missed you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>hetian could hear his own voice echo back at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i know you did. </span>
  </em>
  <span>the boy’s voice was in his head now. </span>
  <em>
    <span>i saw a stray dog in town and it reminded me so much of you. the other kids were throwing sticks at it, trying to hurt it, so i fought them...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian opened his eyes but the boy’s were still tightly closed. he had a smile on his face, but he was biting down on his bottom lip like he was trying to contain it. his hands clenched tighter in hetian’s fur as he told hetian about his day. and then he burst into laughter again when hetian tackled him onto his back. their connection broke as they rolled in the grass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>and then they were wet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>they were swimming, guanshan’s feet paddling through the water as he held onto hetian’s neck. they resurfaced soon, water gushing down their heads as they broke through the surface. guanshan laughed, screaming in delight when hetian splashed him. he threw his arms around hetian’s head and pulled them both under water. bubbles frothed around them, gurgling and escaping their flailing limbs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian waded over to the river bank, pulling guanshan, who was half-laughing, half-choking on the water in his throat, with him. they lay on the bank, letting the sun dry their skin- or in hetian’s case, fur. guanshan was regaling him with a tale about his new friend, jianyi.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i’m glad he’s my friend,” guanshan admitted. “he… he’s on my side.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian pretended to be jealous, nipping guanshan’s shoulder playfully. guanshan laughed. he pressed their foreheads together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m on your side too,</span>
  </em>
  <span> hetian told him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>yes, yes, </span>
  </em>
  <span>guanshan replied, giggle in his thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>and i’m on yours.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>guanshan burrowed closer to hetian, wrapped himself in the thick fur. his breaths turned slow. the corners of his eyes softened. the arms around hetian’s neck loosened. he had drifted off to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>now that he was older, hetian had better control of his shift. when he was just a pup, he would shift whenever he was excited because he couldn’t help it. he associated his wolf with happiness. whenever he was just a little too happy, he would turn, so it happened whenever he thought about spending time with his red-headed friend. his heart would soar above and over the clouds when he was actually with the boy that he could never show guanshan his human form.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the sensation of smooth skin on his own was so new. his sensories felt elevated even though he knew that was impossible. hetian tucked his nose into guanshan’s hair. </span>
  <em>
    <span>salt</span>
  </em>
  <span>. he kissed the shell of his ear and swept his hands down the small back. guanshan shivered and moved closer to him. their chests touched, their legs tangled, their breaths mixed. hetian trembled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>snap.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>in the blink of an eye, hetian shifted back into his wolf and stood protectively over guanshan, growling in the direction of the noise. he only caught the end of a tail not dissimilar to his. guanshan was stirring. he blinked, eyelids heavy, murmured something, then pulled hetian down to rest next to him. instinctively, he put his forehead to guanshan’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>sleep, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>i’ll protect </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... you must never see him again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian was livid. “i’ll see him if i want to,” he spat. “you don’t control me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“except i do,” his father hissed. “and when i tell you to do something, you do it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“and what if i don’t?” hetian growled. “will you kill me, just like you did to our mother?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>human</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he roared. “we are </span>
  <em>
    <span>gods</span>
  </em>
  <span>! they’re meant to serve us, roll over and bare their bellies for us. we do not befriend them, we do not protect them, and least of all, we do not </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> them. you only want to think we do, but you’re just playing with that boy. you’re fattening him up, waiting for him to ripen so you can do the one thing all wolves do - </span>
  <em>
    <span>eat him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian’s father was his alpha. his father was a hulking, midnight-black wolf. his father could make him whimper and present his neck with just a growl.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian shifted and pounced. before his feet had even started to turn into paws, his father had his teeth in his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian growled and struggled out of his father’s grip. the two wolves leapt and wrestled on the stone floor of their courtyard. hetian was giving it his all but he knew it was a losing battle. his father drew back and, as quick as an arrow, snapped his teeth around hetian’s neck. hetian whimpered and went limp in an instant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“clean him up,” the alpha wolf ordered as he wiped his mouth. “when you’re done, begin packing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian’s brother hovered over him. his eyes were swimming with tears. his hands were desperately pressing into hetian’s wounds, trying to clog the crimson blood from spilling further. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian whined in agony and buried his face in his brother’s lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“does it still hurt?” hecheng asked, tenderly massaging the balm into hetian’s blueish wound at his neck. the younger boy was distracted by the sunlight spilling through the screen in the door. everything seemed to move so slowly in the celestial plane - days felt like eternities.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no,” hetian said, smiling gratefully at his brother. “thanks to your magical balm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>they continued in silence. after hecheng was done and hetian had tugged his robes back on, they went over his lessons. today, it was mid-level demons again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian had only ever known them from the scrolls. he had never seen any in real life. although they could creep into his soul or rip his heart out, or both, he didn’t feel afraid of them. but how would he know if he was afraid of them or not if he’d never met a real one? he’d asked his brother before to bring him to see one, but his brother insisted he wasn’t ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>for years, hetian was taught how to wield a sword, how to cast spells and create talismans. but his skills were never put into actual practice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>there was something itching beneath his skin, eager to come out. he knew it was his wolf, but he had forgotten how to let it out. they were allowed to roam the heavenly halls as wolves and the thought of giving the other gods a scare pleased him, but hetian couldn’t do it as much as he tried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“maybe if i faced a demon, my wolf would be forced to come out,” hetian told his brother.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it’s too dangerous,” hecheng responded curtly. “what would happen if your wolf still refuses to reveal itself?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“then-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i’ll protect you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>that wasn’t hetian’s voice. nervously, hetian glanced at his brother, who hadn’t noticed anything. hetian cleared his throat and changed the topic. the subject of facing a demon wasn’t brought up again, but only because hetian knew it was useless to try to convince his brother.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>when he wasn't studying with his brother, he was serving his father at court. he sat in during meetings to listen intently to heavenly affairs, only speaking when he was asked a question. whenever he gave an answer that piqued the interest of the gods, his father would give him a satisfied smile. hetian knew he should get some sort of pride from that, but he only felt empty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it was when the day was winding down that hetian was finally offered some respite. he was free from his brother’s watchful eye and his father’s suffocating one. he didn’t go anywhere special, just his chambers. he lay on his bed, closed his eyes and tried to soothe his wolf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>between the phases of shifting and dreaming, hetian heard the voice again. it told him inane stories about people he never met. but it was soothing, friendly and familiar. it sounded… </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>surely, the voice of my saviour, </span>
  </em>
  <span>hetian thought. </span>
</p>
<p><span>gods only ever sounded bored or, at best, calm. they never outwardly expressed joy or excitement. his brother was the only celestial being whom he heard laughter from. this voice in his head wasn’t of a god. hetian didn’t know if it was even a person’s. he longed to find out who it was - his wolf</span> <span>wanted too.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>hetian had a sneaking feeling his wolf knew the answer, but couldn’t tell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he jolted to wakefulness when hecheng entered his room with dinner. he smiled apologetically at hetian for disturbing his nap. hetian hurriedly got off his bed to help carry the tray of food in. they ate together, trading what they heard at court and making fun of the ancient gods and their ancient ways of thinking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>qiu, a heavenly guard and hecheng’s most trusted friend, came in. he ruffled hetian’s hair and sat next to the older brother, who was already setting chopsticks and a bowl of rice in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“slayed any demons today?” hetian asked eagerly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>in contrast, qiu’s expression was grave. “situation’s gotten worse lately.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hecheng frowned, while hetian’s grin grew. this was it, his chance. he was finally going to get to go down there and fight some demons.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“have you found out what’s causing it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yeah, but,” qiu glanced at hetian then gave hecheng a meaningful rise of his eyebrows. “i’ll tell you later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian glared at both of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“was that code for sex or something?” hetian asked in disgust. he received two simultaneous punches, one on each arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>neither hecheng nor qiu was going to tell him about the going-ons on earth. the demons were increasing in both number and power, he knew that much. he didn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he thought it might have something to do with him. he felt a magnetic pull. his wolf howled and itched. there was something on earth that belonged to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>one evening, when the sky was a lovely mix of purple and orange, hetian sneaked out of the palace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the itch was particularly bad. he felt on the verge of tearing his skin off. and the feeling didn’t ease when he landed on earthly soil.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the sky was darkening, and the blades of the leaves in the trees were bordered with orange and yellow light from the sun. birds crowed and flapped their wings. hetian marvelled at the shadows dancing and morphing against the back of his hand. they mirrored the beast shifting and slithering under his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>screaming pierced through the quiet. and then something ran into his back. hetian swivelled around, catching the person before they could fall backwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it was a boy with flaming red hair. his eyes were wide with fright, and swift when they caught the blade in his belt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“behind me! help!” he cried, pointing behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian pulled him closer, then stepped in front of him to face the incoming demon. it took just two seconds to fell it. he was right then, he wasn’t scared of demons at all. but he wondered if it had less to do with his nerves than the lover he had forgotten he had lost, finally remembered and back in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian took guanshan’s face in his hands and caressed his cheeks with his thumbs. he said, “it’s done now.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter is the last.</p>
<p>comments and kudos are appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the story continues.</p>
<p>it's a happy ending ^_^</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading up till now!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>the fever is nothing guanshan has felt before. everything inside him felt like it was on fire, even his eyes start to water when they’re open for a moment too long. his brain is throbbing, aching too much for him to move. every intake of breath brings him closer to throwing up all the water in his body. his mind has begun to play tricks on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it must be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>because guanshan is seeing things that aren’t there, that can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly </span>
  </em>
  <span>be there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>there’s no way that the wolf is in his room, the tips of its ears grazing the straw of the ceiling, jaw open and dripping saliva over his arm, is there? it’s not real. he can hear the panting of the wolf, can feel its hot breath against his already-burning face; his fingers can graze against the soft dark fur, but it can’t be real… right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>then it should be fine if the wolf is lowering its head towards him. guanshan knows that this is when he should scream, even if it’s just an illusion, but his throat is too parched and his aching head won’t be able to bear any sound louder than a whimper. the beast’s jaws get larger and larger the closer it moves. and then its head is pressing against guanshan’s nose, rubbing itself against his face until their foreheads touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>fur covers guanshan’s entire line of sight. he wants to touch it. his fingers tremble as they curl into the fur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>guanshan.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hearing hetian’s voice in his head isn’t an unusual occurrence. hetian and hetian’s voice have been the only strands of memory floating around in guanshan’s consciousness for the past two days, slipping just shy of his grasp whenever he’s close enough to reach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>guanshan, </span>
  </em>
  <span>hetian says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>i’m sorry.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>this isn’t an unusual sensation either, this connection that is tangible, like a string that can be plucked and arranged into a melody. guanshan has felt it before. a long time ago, when he had spent all his time with a stray dog that lived in the woods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it had always been unusually large, and jianyi did say it was a wolf, not a dog. if hetian really is the beast, there’s no need for guanshan to be afraid of it. the deep gash left on his arm by the cobra-beast screams in painful resistance and his arms feel like jelly, but guanshan raises them high enough to wrap around hetian’s neck. he pushes his nose in the fur and presses their heads together. his entire body is aching, but he thinks maybe the pain is exacerbated by the warmth fur he envelopes himself in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i frightened you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> hetian says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>i’m sorry.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>ah, in the woods, the wolf had chased him. hetian should’ve just followed him into the house and told him that he was the wolf. it makes both his head and heart ache when the regret fills him. he should’ve recognised the wolf for who he is. he shouldn’t have run away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>please, none of this is your fault. </span>
  </em>
  <span>hetian’s tone is pleading and pinched. </span>
  <em>
    <span>my wolf is a monster, i couldn’t see you but i knew you were at the tree, so i waited for you to come out. then you ran from me, and i couldn’t enter the house because of the talismans. when you came back to the tree with jianyi, i didn’t want to scare him, so i left.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>he wouldn’t have been scared, he’s met you before,</span>
  </em>
  <span> guanshan says. his hoarse laugh dissolves into a ferocious cough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>you need to rest</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hetian says. he begins to draw back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>i just needed to see you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>. guanshan holds on to the wolf tighter. immediately, pain flares up both his arms. he winces but doesn’t let go. </span>
  <em>
    <span>turn back into hetian.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i </span>
  </em>
  <span>am </span>
  <em>
    <span>hetian.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i mean… so that i can hold you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the wolf’s head shifts down, as much as guanshan’s hold on him allows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i can’t, </span>
  </em>
  <span>hetian says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>my father hadn’t allowed me to come back to the woods. he found me a week ago and cursed me to stay in this form until i agree to return to him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>guanshan hates crying. he doesn’t normally cry. the last time he’d cried was… when hetian (back then only known to guanshan as a dog) had left. the exhaustion from the last few days, the frustration of being unable to properly hold hetian and the fever burning him inside out, turning his brain into mush topple him over the point of waterfall-tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“that’s unfair,” guanshan whines aloud. his head spins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hetian apologises again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>please, you must rest now.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“you’ll leave me again,” guanshan mutters, arms weakening by the second. he needs to lie down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i promise i’ll come back, </span>
  </em>
  <span>hetian swears. </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ll wait for me, won’t you? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>guanshan nods and instantly regrets it. the motion makes him nauseous. slowly, he slides his arms off hetian and lowers back down onto the bed. his eyes are beginning to close just as hetian pulls the blanket over guanshan’s shoulders with his teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the wolf watches the redheaded boy until his breaths become deeper and slower. a frown is still on his face, he’s probably still hurting even in his sleep. he’ll probably have a fitful sleep, interrupted by stabs of pain throughout his body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he noses at guanshan’s arm. the bandages are clean but it can’t hide the awful smell coming off it in waves. the poison has spread far too quickly. there’s black in the veins up his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian has come in the nick of time. he’s made a deal with his father to return to the heavenly plains if he saves guanshan’s life. and now that hetian has seen guanshan for one last time, he’ll go. they would never see each other again, but guanshan will be safe. guanshan will be alive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>rubbing his face against guanshan’s red hair for the final time, hetian turns and slinks out the door he came in from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>the night guanshan had come out of the woods like a crazed man has since been dubbed the night of red. it has multiple meanings. it could refer to the red of guanshan’s hair, or the red of the blood that dyed his clothes and skin. to most, it was known as the night the wolf god who roamed the woods found his bride. ‘red’ for the symbolism of a prosperous wedding or ‘red’ for the blood that was shed when the wolf took his bride, it depends on whom you ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>after the wolf-beast was spotted leaving guanshan’s home, the belief that it had found its bride was further cemented. people looked at guanshan and his mother differently since then. some with reverence, most with fear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the night hetian left was also the night guanshan started recovering. it only took him a week to regain his strength. the skin on his arm was still mottled, but the gash was healing steadily. he still kept it covered with bandages, of course. it made his mother sob every time she saw it, and he didn’t like to be reminded of that night. it wasn’t easy to avoid reminders, though, what with everyone in the village giving him looks whenever he walked past them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>because hetian never came back, guanshan decided to look for him himself. he went back into the forest without telling his mother or jianyi, who basically became his nagging parent. he followed the well-beaten path to hetian’s home and lo’ and behold, it was there, unchanged from the last time he saw it, even though it felt different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the forest felt uneasy. it used to have a quiet sort of calm over it, despite all the monsters living in it. but now, it was as if it had been poked awake from a deep sleep, roiled and grumpy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>guanshan looked around the house, knowing hetian wouldn’t be there, but trying anyway. even though he hadn’t sworn off revisiting, he left the forest quickly as disquiet weighed heavy in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it didn’t take long for guanshan to figure out why it was so unsettled. within a week, a demon broke through the tree line and made a beeline towards the village. this was a peaceful village, it had never been invaded by monsters before. the forest kept them at bay, trapped them in the maze of trees and darkness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the village elders banged on guanshan’s door. they demanded, “the wolf chose </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>as its bride! you </span>
  <em>
    <span>must </span>
  </em>
  <span>save us!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>even without them coming to his door, guanshan knew he had to do something. he kissed his mother’s cheek, promised her he would return in one piece and left to face the tiger demon wreaking havoc on the town.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the beast could feel guanshan’s presence once he stepped into the town. it stopped in its tracks, turning its head sharply in guanshan’s direction. its growl came from deep in its belly, reverberated against all the tiles of the roofs. but it wasn’t coming for guanshan, it was rooted to its spot, not waiting for the man but not budging, as if it couldn’t escape even if it wanted to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>guanshan looked the beast straight in its eyes as he approached. every step he took had the beast leaning away. its growls turned into pleading whimpers. finally right in front of it, guanshan drew out a talisman from his pocket with a trembling hand. he murmured a banishing spell that hetian had taught him as he pasted the rectangular talisman on the beast’s head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>letting out a deafening roar, the beast burst into flames and ashes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>more would definitely come soon. guanshan knew he needed to return to the forest and live there as the village’s new protector. hetian’s disappearance did something to make the demons fearless. there were peaceful spirits in the woods that were probably anxious and threatened without their protector’s presence as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>jianyi was more opposed to the idea than guanshan’s mother. he only relented when guanshan agreed to let jianyi come with him. so with lightly-packed bags (they could always trek back to the village if they needed anything else, after all), the two men made their way through the forest and to hetian’s home, now </span>
  <em>
    <span>their</span>
  </em>
  <span> new home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>in the first few weeks, jianyi spends every night in the forest. but as months pass, he learns that guanshan knows what he’s doing and is </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>at it, so he spends fewer nights there. he probably misses zhengxi, who comes to them at least once a week anyway. under guanshan’s watchful eye (and jianyi’s watchful eye over guanshan), the woods have become safe enough for even guanshan’s mother to amble through. she visits him too, bringing baskets of vegetables and fruits, even though he lives in the literal wilderness where fresh produce is abundant, with her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the rate of demons being exorcised or banished have become so high so quickly that even the celestial court has taken notice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“seems like your bride is throwing the ecosystem in disarray,” qiu tells hetian during their daily swordplay. his words distract hetian and throw him off balance. qiu snatches the chance to cut in and sweep hetian off his feet with the blunt edge of his sword.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian can’t bring himself to be angry at his teacher’s wiles. he’s happy to hear any news at all about guanshan. “he’s amazing, isn’t he? i only had one month to teach him what i knew. everything else, he picked up himself.” hetian grabs qiu’s offered hand and hauls himself to his feet. “if i had more time with him, he would be at the level of gods in just ten years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>qiu squints at hetian. he sees through hetian’s suggestive words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>good, you lovesick idiot,” qiu scolds. “once he clears the forest of the high-level demons, higher-level ones are going to occupy it. they’ll see the land as easy pickings. a human exorcist who isn’t even a priest or immortal don’t scare them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“all the more reason i should go down there,” hetian insists. “to help him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i’m not the one you have to convince.” qiu rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, but you can help me speak to my brother,” hetian says. “and he will speak to my father.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it-it’s not that simple.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>qiu is wavering and hetian goes in for the kill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” hetian pushes. “all you have to do is inform my brother of the situation. then give him the solution. once he’s taken to the solution, which he will because it’s from you, then you put my name in there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hecheng isn’t stupid. he’ll see right through it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yes, but he won’t think it’s a bad idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>qiu looks doubtful. “or he could get angry at us for trying to make use of him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“we’re not making use of him,” hetian says incredulously. “it’s his duty to report any… mishaps, anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>qiu sighs in defeat. </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s giving in</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hetian cheers inwardly. he can’t hold in his victorious grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“wipe that off your face,” qiu chides.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“so you’ll talk to my brother, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the guard doesn’t answer. he simply sheaths his sword and stomps off, but hetian is full of confidence that in a month, he’ll be back in his beloved’s arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>of course, when the fantasy hetian has been dreaming of for a year becomes a reality, he realises just how unprepared he is for his homecoming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>should he wait for guanshan outside the gate? or should he storm in like he owns the place, which he, in fact, does? what should he wear? are his normal clothes enough or should he disguise himself as an aging traveller just to give guanshan a humorous surprise?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>before hetian can decide, the gate creaks open. with a broad sword strapped to his back, hair tied up, dark-blue clothes coarse and worn-out but clean, and boots that look too big for his feet, guanshan is the most beautiful being hetian has ever seen. and hetian… hetian is a large black-fur wolf, sitting next to his stone counterpart and towering over guanshan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>guanshan freezes. he stares up at the wolf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian sees how guanshan’s eyes light up as the realisation dawns on him. he wants to throw his arms around his lover and hold him tight to his body, but he’s finding it difficult to rear his wolf back in as happiness overtakes him. guanshan </span>
  <em>
    <span>leaps </span>
  </em>
  <span>at hetian, throws his arms around the beast’s neck and burying his face into the thick fur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“you came back,” he murmurs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian whines when he feels tears beginning to soak his fur. he never meant to make his beloved </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, of all things. there were never tears in every scenario he fantasised for their reunion, just a lot of cuddles and kisses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>when guanshan no longer feels tufts of fur against his face and instead finds his nose tucked into the warm crook of a slender neck, he leans back to take in hetian’s grinning face, also wet with tears. laughter bubbles up his throat as he cups hetian’s face and swipes his thumbs across his cheeks to wipe the tears away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hetian, too, has guanshan’s face in his hands. he whispers, “it’s done now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>and finally, the wolf claims his bride.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading! i hope you liked it. :)</p>
<p>comments and kudos are much appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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